No Country for Old Dudes

I've come to a conclusion - old dudes like to talk to me.  I'm not really sure why.  Is it because they find me attractive and continue to talk to me after I'm far past "Hello, yes that bar stool is open"?  Or is it because when I talk to someone I'm not even remotely interested in I can speak more freely?

There's several "Old Dude Categories".  And as always, these discoveries are based on real life experiences:

The "legitimately-sweet-lonely-old-dude":  These are rare, and when you find one you should at least smile at them.  The little act of smiling at a lonely old dude really does make his day.  A long time ago, a friend and I were sitting at a bar having appetizers and drinks.  The guy next to us started talking to us, and we continued talking to him for over an hour.  Random things, nothing in particular.  He left and we waved goodbye.  When it was time for us to leave we asked for our tabs.  The bartender told us that the guy next to us had paid for all of our food and drinks.  He told the bartender to tell us that we reminded him of his daughters.  Now that's a generous, sweet, lonely, old dude.   Even if you don't buy my dinner or drinks, if you're there for conversation - I'll be glad to talk to you...until someone more interesting walks in.  (just being honest)

The "you-remind-me-of-my-daughter-now-I'm going-to-flirt-with-you-old-dude":  Ok, so the title in itself is creepy...and actually these guys are bordering the line of disturbing.  I find it really odd that someone would actually think that "you remind me of my daughter" would be a good pick up line.  Hey Mr. Old Dude, if you're going to use this line - think about how your daughter (that I apparently remind you of) would feel if another old dude approached her with this crap!  These men are silent assassins - they reel you in to make you think they're the legitimately-sweet-lonely-old-dude, and then they strike as the creepy old dude after you're hooked.  Gross.

The "old-dude-that-stares-at-you-across-the-room":  I don't know what's worse - approaching me and talking to me and telling me I remind you of your daughter, or just staring at me.  Creepy staring - like you're going to go all Buffalo Bill on me and stick me in a hole in your basement.  "It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again."  I want nothing to do with you - and I may just make a really ugly face at you next time I catch you staring.

The "overly-confident-old-dude":  This guy is going to talk to you like he really thinks he has a chance.  He will tell you he's divorced, he will brag about his money and cars, and will ultimately buy you a drink.  Take it...it's free.  But know this, he's so confident that he can get you he will annoy you all night!  Later on in the night, his child will show up - his child that is the same age, if not older than you.  On one occasion, I actually had the overly-confident-old-dude introduce me to his overly-confident-young-son.  This was not "hey, yall are the same age, you should talk"...nope...this was "check out this chick I just found to annoy".  I don't care if you're rich - you're old.  Period.

There are plenty more categories, but I'm so grossed out right now I can't continue thinking or writing about it.  So to all you old dudes out there, not all of us young chicks want a sugar daddy.  If you're into gold diggers, who "remind you of your daughter" (yuck) please,  get out of my bars - the skanks are looking for you elsewhere.