FML...Wednesday...WTF

Ok, so I've been a bad blogger.  But my excuse is valid...nothing has happened worth blogging about.  Until yesterday.

My day started out fine.  Typical Wednesday full of designing playgrounds and answering phone calls coming into the office.

First FML of Wednesday...so it was just Andrea and I in the office to answer the phones until noon when Cathy got back from taking her munchkins to the doctor.  I swear, it's like people know when we are short handed.  The phone NEVER stopped ringing.  To put this in perspective - there's usually at least 4 of us in the office to answer the phone during the day...now there's 2.

Second FML of Wednesday...I forgot my lunch - So I dined on an emergency pack of Ramen noodles that's been in my desk for God knows how long.  Then I felt like a water balloon - sodium overload.

Third FML of Wednesday...I had a bid sitting in front of me 75 pages long that was due Friday by 3pm.  After spending the entire day reading and re-reading, printing out design and spec information, and probably signing my first born child away - I finally finished!  I packed it up in a UPS Express box in a hurry - just so I wouldn't start thinking about what I may have missed and set the UPS "pick up" sign outside the office.  Yea, UPS never came.  SO, I had to drive to the local UPS store and drop it off - making my trip home even longer.

Break from FML's...I decided at this point that I wasn't cooking shit for dinner, and I was in desperate need of something with alcohol in it.  So I stopped by the food store on the way home.  I had no clue what I was buying...no plan...just. need. alcohol.

First stop - Wine.  Then I said to myself "self, you deserve brownies...they'll be delicious with your wine!"  So I grabbed the most ridiculous box of brownie mix I could find and tossed it in the basket.

Then, I realized that I couldn't just eat brownies and wine for dinner so I headed straight for the frozen pizzas.  Margherita pizza...yummm.

Then, I was distracted by the beers on the way out.  Again, "Self, you should get some beers, just in case".  So I grabbed a 6'er of Stella (mi favorito!)

$27.00 later, I had this...

 

 

 

F*#k yea.

So, I posted this on Facebook and then started putting things away...including the dishes from the last couple of days.

Fourth FML of Wednesday...I washed out my Crock Pot I had made some delicious boiled peanuts in and was going to set the ceramic part back into the cooker and BOOM...

Oh F*#k.

At this point, I screamed the longest and loudest f-bomb in my life and threw my hands up asking God "why!?!?!".  After realizing that he was surely not going to answer me after what I had just said, I grabbed two beers and sat on my patio until I finished both of them.


Great, now I've got a buzz, a broken Crock Pot, a frozen pizza that's not going to cook itself and a box of brownies that I couldn't wait to devour.


5 Beers, the ENTIRE pizza, one brownie later - I fell asleep at 8:45.


In honor of my FML Wednesday, I'm going shopping tonight to make me feel better.  And maybe I'll open that bottle of wine...

Sheen-Zings!

So after being a little disappointed in the premiere of "Two and a Half Men", I was really hoping the "Roast of Charlie Sheen" was going to blow my mind.  And for the most part...it did.

Here's the punchlines that literally made me LOL:

Engineer of the Crazy Train

• Charlie Sheen, the reason why blow on a penis is now called a "Sheenis"

• How long will we have to wait for a Sheen reality show?  "Deadliest Snatch"

• How much blow can Charlie Sheen do?  Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

• With all the damage Charlie has done to his lungs, kidneys and liver it's amazing that the only thing he's had removed was his kids.

• Charlie Sheen's nostrils are so full of snot and coke that he calls them the Hilton Sisters.

• If Charlie is winning, there's something wrong with the scoreboard!

• Charlie, don't you want to live to see your kid's first 12 steps?

Ouch.

• Brooke Mueller, she's not that bright unless Charlie is throwing a lamp at her.

• Mike Tyson's opponents spent as much time in the corner bleeding as Charlie's ex wives.

• Mike Tyson has beaten every opponent...except the letter "S".

• Jeff Ross, you're terrible...During your performance I wanted to bite both of my own ears off! (Mike)

• Mike Tyson, you will always have more $hit on your face than Seal.  (ouch.)

• Charlie Sheen, the only reason you got on TV in the first place is because God hates Michael J Fox.

• Charlie Sheen says he has tiger blood running thru his veins.  Unfortunately that tiger is a huge drug addict.

• Charlie Sheen's nose is like my ass, there's nothing you won't shove up there! (Steve O)

• Charlie is really looking forward to hitting rock bottom...he thinks there's a rock there.

• That's what it looks like when an asshole gets fisted. (Seth referring to Steve O receiving a black eye from Mike Tyson)

Fisted by the Champ

• Mike Tyson, you have a slutty lower back tattoo on your face.

• Charlie Sheen, you're like Bruce Willis.  Big in the 80's, but now your old slot is being filled with Ashton Kutcher.

• Book your next rehab stay through price-line.com (William Shatner) 

• Sorry I drank all the blood out of your Tiger, Mike.  I was going thru a rough phase.  (Charlie Sheen)

• Y'all can't hurt me.  Hell, I can't even hurt me!  (C. Sheen)

Big Brother - Finale

Fire me.  I've been so busy with work events that I have neglected to blog about the finale of Big Brother 13.  My bad.

Apparently you could just watch the first 15 minutes of the finale and see the entire season.  FML.

Because it's been so long, and the excitement is over I'll spare you the details.

Rachel and her boobs won.  She did play a good game, but I agree with Danielle...Rachel should be glad it's not a personality contest.

Voting:
Brendan, Jeff, Shelley and Jordan voted for Rachel.
Danielle, Kahlia, and Adam voted for Porsche.  

Shelley proves again to be the only newbie to switch sides.


Jeff won $25,000 for America's Player!  

So, until next summer...I can watch TV without typing!

Big Brother - Week 9 - Eviction

I never realized how crazy the end of BB was until I started blogging about it.  There's no order to what days provide viewers with what tasks - be it POV, Evictions or Nominations.

Anywho...

Adam gets his HOH room and it's basically full of bacon and bacon related items.

Porsche talks to Adam about who they want to go to final 3 and Porsche says that since Jordan won BB11 she doesn't think she should win again.

Rachel thinks everyone in the house has a fair shot at jury votes.

Jordan and Adam talk game: Adam says that if he sent Rachel home it would help him out but he doesn't tell Jordan what he's doing.  To Jordan, it sounds like Adam is defending Porsche - and Jordan is pissed!

Adam is a terrible liar.

At the nomination ceremony, Adam nominates Jordan and Porsche.  His reasoning is really good: neither of them have had to fight for their safety in a Veto comptition.

At the veto competition, the HG's have to line up names of HG's with events that happened in the house thus far.  Porsche has the best strategy - she stacks hers up on the ground then onto the post once she has them "correct".  It pays off...and Porsche wins the Veto.

Naturally, Rachel cries and says that Brendan is going to be so mad at her for losing.

Porsche uses the Veto and Rachel is the replacement nominee.

Porsche is the only vote and she evicts Jordan.

Part 1 of the Final HOH competition starts in the BY and the HG's are on a giant mixer/blender thingy.  They have to hold on while this thing goes up and down and round and round in a big pool of goop.  The winner of this competition picks who goes to the final with them. 

Big Brother - Week 9 - POV and Eviction

The POV competition starts with OTEV the shark who is hungry for some pies.  Wait...don't sharks eat fish?  Weird...

Anyway the HG's have to find pies in the back yard with other HG's names on the based on the clues OTEV gives them.

Round 1: Jordan eliminated
Round 2: Rachel eliminated (seems that these girls always choke in this order)
Round 3: Kahlia eliminated (she's upset and crying - Rachel is making fun of her)
Round 4: Porsche eliminated and Adam wins the POV!

Jury house: Jeff goes off on Shelley.  That's about all the excitement there.

Kahlia won't stop crying - and Adam holds everyone's fate in his hands with the POV.  Kahlia finally dries up and begs Adam to save one of them and put Jordan up in their place.  "Newbies til the end" seems to be a failing plan.

At the Veto Ceremony, Adam doesn't use the POV.

Only Adam and Jordan get to vote, and Jordan votes to evict Porsche and Adam votes to evict Kahlia.  Rachel breaks the tie and evicts Kahlia.


The creepy ass fortune teller finally speaks and everyone freaks out!  She wakes them up all night long to tell fortunes that will be part of the HOH competition tomorrow.


At the live HOH competition - Adam ROCKS it and gets 6 of 6 correct and wins HOH!


Now, Kahlia told Adam in her final speech that he needs to stop playing like a fan and start playing like an All Star - wonder if he will listen?

"Burn One Down"

I gave up on learning chords after the 4th one...It's boring.

So in my search to find a song that was easy to learn, I started listening to my iPod and figuring out what songs had a repeated run or simple chord changes.  A 3 hour drive to and from Charleston was as good a time as any to start this process.

After realizing that I have over 200 DMB songs, I also realized that the man is a genius.  I've always known that when it comes to playing guitar, Dave was incredible...but now knowing what goes into making "shapes" for chords, I'm beyond words.

So, obviously a Dave song is out.

Jack Johnson songs - cool runs, very difficult to make them sound like he can.

No country - at least not yet...

And then I found a gem...hidden away in a playlist named "Jam On"...

Ben Harper: "Burn One Down".  This song takes me back to a weekend with a bunch of girls from college.  We drove to Clemson from Winthrop for the Clemson/USC game and listened to this song until everyone in the car knew every single word.  

So, I sat down last night and googled the tabs for said song...and behold...I found my first song to learn! (other than "Smoke on the Water")

Currently, it's a very broken and slow version of the song.  I've got to get my fingers to do what my brain knows to do...you'd think this would be easy.  I get half way thru the run and BOOM...I eff up and make myself start over.

Practice schedule: going to play the intro until I have it perfect...then I'll move onto the chorus.

Just in case you were interested...

Intro
             G
E||-------|-------3----------3----|--------------------------|
B||-------|-------0----------0----|--------------------------|
G||-------|-------0----------0----|--------------------------|
D||-------|-------0----------0----|-----------------------0--|
A||-------|-------2----------2----|-----0--2-----3--2--0-----|
E||-------|--3---------3--3-------|--3--------3--------------|

 

Big Brother - Week 9 - HOH and Nominations

The HOH competition continues and poor Adam is still too big to fit under the rolling pins in the pit of donut glaze...so are Rachel's boobs.

Rachel and her boobs win HOH "for Brendan" (of course).

Kahlia tries to tell Adam that she voted to evict him because she thought the rest of the house was going that way too...he doesn't buy it.

It's time to see Rachel's HOH room...and Kahlia is sleeping again.  I would too, girl.  All the photos are of Rachel and Brendan.  Barf.

Kahlia goes to talk to Rachel about a final four deal and she continues to use the "I'm a competitor" line.  Rachel still doesn't think she can trust Kahlia.  When Rachel and Porsche talk game, Rachel tells her that she really doesn't know who she can trust.

Rachel gets Pandora's Box and the clue is Tori Spelling and a shopping spree.  She takes it, but Tori is NOT in the room...it's Jesse the meathead from BB10.  Tori Spelling is downstairs and Adam screams like a little girl!  Haha!  While Rachel is being tortured by Jesse, the other House Guests get a 3 minute shopping spree in the Back Yard.  Haha!  That's what you get dummy!


Jordan, Rachel and Adam talk game and Adam tells them that he's on board with them because they saved him last week.


At the nomination ceremony: Porsche and Kahlia are nominated for eviction.

Big Brother - Week 8 - Eviction

Once again, I chose to do things on a Thursday night instead of watching BB.

So...Shelley went home, and Rachel won the POV.

That is all.

Big Brother - Week 8 - Nominations and POV

Kahlia is super mad that Porsche chose to open Pandora's Box (giggle) but then is totally fine when she finds out that she gets $5K as well.

At the nomination ceremony, Porsche nominates Jordan and Rachel - hoping that Rachel is the target for the week.

Rachel tells Jordan 875,374 times that they "Need to win the Veto"...we get it...now shut the hell up.

At the Veto competition, the house guests must hang from dummies for as long as they can.  Adam loses yet another competition and falls first.  Jordan, Shelley,  and Porsche fall.  Its down to Kahlia and Rachel.  In the end, Rachel hangs on the longest and wins the POV for her and Jordan.

Now it looks like Shelley is the target.

Shelley goes to Jordan to clear the air - she knows she's probably going home and doesn't want to have Jordan mad at her after she leaves.  Jordan forgives, but says she doesn't forget.

Shelley offers herself to Jordan and Rachel - to stay in the house, let them win the competitions, and do nothing but help them get to the top.  WTF?  Shelley are you on crack?

The Veto cereomony is a joke...obviously Adam and Shelley are the replacement nominees.

I hope pre-season football doesn't ruin my BB tonight!  I can't wait to see how Danielle, Brendan and Jeff are getting along!  Haha!